When friendships change

Originally printed in the pages of Simply Family Magazine’s April 2017 issue. Never miss an issue, check out SFM’s digital editions, here

by Jamie Beeson

featured photo by Beth Beeson

As I hung up the phone, I knew it might be the last time we talked. I had a strange mix of emotions in that moment. Part of me felt a sense of peace and relief that I had been honest, made sure she knew I valued her and her friendship, and gave her an opportunity to let me know if there was something identifiable that was causing her “distance.” She assured me that “it was nothing” and “she’s just busy.” I could tell that wasn’t true. Thanks, but no thanks, to Facebook, I saw her having time to be involved in a lot of our other friends’ lives. She had purposely distanced herself from my life.

I thought she was one of those who just "got me." She was passionate about the things I was passionate about, I was a big fan and supporter of what God was doing in her life, and she encouraged me to be fully me. We had some “real” moments and some “real” conversations. I honestly thought we’d be good friends for life.

Then, our lives took different directions. We didn’t work together as much and rarely saw each other. What she was passionate about, I wasn’t as passionate about. That's totally okay if you're soul sisters because you are just super supportive of who they are and it doesn’t matter where they are or what they’re doing. But with this friend, for some reason, the change of circumstances meant a change of friendship.

It hurt me for a while when she stopped commenting on my posts, responding to my texts, remembering my birthday, and she started talking to me like a stranger. She always had a nickname for me and used it every time we talked and every time she talked about me. The nickname was gone and for the first time in our friendship, she was calling me by my first name. I knew it was time.

Some friends are friends because they are situational friends. You are in the same group together, you work together, or your kids play sports together. When the situation changes, so does your friendship.

Some are seasonal friends. They were brought into your life for a season. Maybe you had a meaningful experience together or you bonded over something important you had in common. Some seasonal friendships can last months and some years. When a new season comes and you are different, changed or changing...you may feel the distance...the end of a season.

I cherish my soul sister friends. These friends love me and have walked with me through the highs and lows and visa versa. They become like family; time, season, distance, or changes don’t separate us they bring us closer. I'm so grateful for the handful of those girls in my life. If you can find one of these, consider yourself blessed and hang on to the friendship, nurture it and maintain it. These friendships are worth more than gold.

Be encouraged if you are hurting over the loss or a change in a friendship. Don't let it make you doubt yourself or feel betrayed and wounded. Don’t let those thoughts creep in to make you think there’s something wrong with you and allow rejection to make a home in your soul. Let it go and know there's a purpose for each situational and seasonal friendship. Just be grateful the friendship has served its purpose. God's good at bringing just the right people at just the right time.  Those soul sisters, they’ve got your back!

CHANGE Challenge:

As you let go of one relationship, see that it leaves more room for new ones. Who needs your friendship right now? Is there a new soul sister waiting to meet you, hurting over the loss of a friendship, wishing she had someone like you in her life?

about the author...Jamie, wife of her high school sweetheart and mom of four boys, has been in the fitness industry for 18 years. "Fuel the body, mobilize the soul" is her mission. Connect with Jamie on Facebook www.facebook.com/jamiebeeson1 or at www.workoutplanz.com.