10 Steps to a New Child (in one week)by carole dean
Behavior issues got you down? Dreading 24/7 summer time with your kids? Ready to call the network to reserve your family for a Super Nanny intervention? Don’t despair! Having the pleasant home life you’ve always dreamed of is within easy reach. How about a new kid within the week? Using the proven techniques of this ten-step plan of action you will soon be on your way to modifying the behavior of your child with positive results!
A little effort on your part will make life easier for you and your children. You as parent have got to be committed to this effort or it will fail. This first week is going to seem like boot camp. “No pain, no gain” applies to anything worthwhile. Implementing these practical ideas and strategies will bring quick results and should be used for the rest of your kids growing up years.
Bottom line; our kids live to please us! Knowing how to tap into this treasure trove of cooperation is all it takes to modify attitude, behavior, and character. It all starts with YOU. Who’s in charge? You are! When you are at your best, the whole house responds favorably. Here’s what the new you is going to do:
Change your attitude. Remain calm. Don’t nag. Don’t pester. Don’t warn. It’s not war. Say it once, turn your back and walk away! This is tough love. Loving enough to be tough in doing what ever it takes to have a peaceful and happy family life. Love looks beyond the present to the future.
Make expectations very clear. Don’t allow any room for misunderstandings of communication. Clearly defined boundaries are required and consequences must be understood.
Expect respect. Respect yourself by being true to who you are. Follow through with a consequence if your child is disrespectful to you. Use action, not words. That planned trip to the pet store? Cancelled because you don’t let them talk back to you.
Be consistent with your words constantly--100% of the time. No matter what, you must follow through on what you said you would do. “No TV for three days” – even when they turn into sweethearts, don’t reward this expected normal behavior with TV again before the deadline.
Don’t think misbehaving will go away. No more trying to reason things out. Be clear, be firm, and be calm. Never use anger, shame, warnings or threats. If you lay out what is expected from your kids, then don’t deviate or make excuses. (“She’s just tired because she didn’t get enough sleep last night” isn’t acceptable anymore)
Count to ten and ask, “What does the new me need to do in this situation?” Use your natural instincts of knowing what are right and wrong behavior for you and your child.
Keep a positive attitude no matter what. Keep a smile on your face no matter what. “I don’t want to do my homework! I want to watch TV!” With a smile and a calm voice, shut off the TV and put the homework in front of the child, as you calmly turn and walk away. Expect the best and get the best.
Stick with the game plan. If you’ve given your kids their own way up until now, they will react. Don’t be intimidated by them. Don’t get into a fight for power. The power already belongs to you. You told them about the changes. Don’t be afraid because they don’t like them. They’ll still love you!
Respond positively but not with false flatteries. Praise a child’s worth to what they do. Encouragement emphasizes your pleasure in their behavior. Giving your kids a Disneyland fairytale household is not the goal nor is it fair to them. Mean business with every instruction.
Have fun! Enjoy parenting! Children can be a huge blessing all the time!
Implementing these changes today and sticking with them will bring positive results within a week. Once you get past the initial challenges of tough love, it’s easy to maintain the peace in your respectful, obedient, and delightful child!
Carole Dean is a Montana native, artist, and freelance writer. Carole has successfully raised three wonderful kids and enjoys the fruit of her labor!