A successful, long term marriage makes for a loving, supportive foundation as the years pass. Whether you’re an excited newlywed or have spent three or four decades together, it’s always a good time to check on your marriage and help it stay strong through the coming years.
Building a successful marriage for the long term takes time, care, and attention. Just like any other long term endeavor, a long-lasting marriage takes devotion and work. Here are our top tips for a successful marriage throughout the years.
Set Goals Together
Setting goals together keeps you both engaged with your shared life. A common goal gives you something to work towards together, and is a great opportunity to sit down and make plans for your future.
Your goals can be as big as buying your first house or as small as planting an herb garden. Track your goal together and be sure to break out a bottle of your favorite beverage when you achieve it.
Find Little Ways To Say I Love You
There are so many little ways to let your partner know you love them: A good morning kiss, a love note slipped into their purse or briefcase, doing a chore you know they hate, or renting a movie you know they’ll love.
Sprinkle little affectionate gestures throughout your day to keep the romance alive and remind your partner how loved they are. Take the time to learn what makes your partner feel loved – for some people it’s words, while for others it’s romantic gestures or practical help.
Appreciate Each Other
A long term marriage means you’ll be spending a lot of time together. It’s natural to get a bit irritated with your partner from time to time. You’re only human after all, and everyone has frustrating quirks (you can bet they feel the same way!)
Don’t let the little things become big things. Instead, take time every day to appreciate all your partner’s good qualities, whether that’s their sense of humor, how they handle difficult parenting situations, or the fact that they make the best brownies you’ve ever tasted. Be sure to tell them what you appreciate about them, too.
Make Time Together
Life can get busy at any age. There are plenty of demands on your time as you age, from raising kids to career progression, and even community events or supporting your friends through a rough patch.
Keep your marriage strong by making time together a priority even in the midst of a chaos. Take time each day to catch up with each other, and set aside regular time to just be with each other, have fun, and forget your responsibilities for a while.
Have New Adventures
New adventures inject fresh life into your marriage as the years pass by. You can go big if that’s your style and try out a new sport or have an adventure holiday. Or you can look for adventure in your everyday life by taking a class together or learning a new DIY skill.
Doing new things together gives you valuable bonding time and a chance to learn even more about each other.
Give Each Other Room To Grow
No one is the same person they were two or five or ten years ago. You and your partner will both change as you get older. That’s quite normal. If you want your marriage to succeed the best thing is to simply roll with the changes.
Give your partner room to grow and change, and instead of mourning who they were, celebrate who they are at every stage.
Be There For Each Other
Being there for each other is key to a successful marriage. When you’re there for each other, you form a deep bond and a strong foundation of trust and reliability.
What’s going on for your partner? What dreams are they working on, and what worries do they have? Talk with your partner regularly so that you can support them through every stage of life.
Learn The Art Of Good Communication
Good communication is vital for a long-term successful marriage. Good communication means both parties get to express their feelings and needs, and both parties get heard and validated.
Learn good listening skills so you can take on board your partner’s concerns without talking over them. Practice speaking to each other with kindness and respect so you can tackle issues together as a team, not as opponents.
Affection creates closeness, and both physical and emotional intimacy. Make affection part of your daily routine.
Get in the habit of holding hands when you go out together. Greet your partner with a kiss in the morning and hug them before one of you leaves the house, and when you each return. Little gestures like a kiss on the forehead or offering a foot rub make a big difference to how close and connected you feel.
Put in the effort to keep your marriage strong throughout the years and you’ll be rewarded with a loving, fulfilling relationship and the promise of a bright future together.
About the author…Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy & happy marriages.